Gossip - The Relationship Killer Grenade!

It's a Saturday night party and it starts out innocently enough with some in the corner saying, "Did you hear about Sam? Clueless, you reply, "What happened to Sam?" "Don't you know about his business?" When you answer in the negative, your friend seizes the moment to fill you in on all the gory details of Sam's business and how bad it is doing.

The situation sounds familiar ? Yes you got it right - Gossip ! We live in a gossip oriented society so naturally almost everyone loves to gossip. Many of us do it and do not even realize the implications of it. When gossip is being spread through the grapevine, people's reputations, careers, and lives can get destroyed very rapidly.

The other day I was reading a magazine which carried the much controversial Nira Radia - Ratan Tata tape conversations in which we have a classic example of how a Gossip can start and get activated. I am not getting into the phone tapping & right to privacy controversy but a lighter but important aspect in their conversation. Nira Radia asks Mr.Tata "innocently", " the latest rumor is that 'Raja and Kanimozhi' are having an affair to which Mr.Tata responds "It's spread by whom" ? She takes off from there- The beginning of a gossip session!

This conversation reminded me of a fantastic story I have come across about Chanakya, the famous Indian Politician, Strategist & Writer who lived between 350 BC to 75 BC during Chandragupta Mourrya's period. The story goes like this : One day a known person approached Chanakya and enthusiastically started saying, “Do you know, just a while ago, I heard few things from your friend about you?”

Chanakya was famous for his wisdom, knowledge and good behavior. He said to his known person, “Before I listen to what you have to say, I would like to test it through my three step testing.”

“What is this three step test?”, the person asked.

Chanakya made him understand, “ Before you tell me about what my friend has said, let us test it. I call this testing – a three step test. The first test is of truthfulness. Is it sure that whatever you are going to say is a truth?”
“No”, the person said, “ I have heard it from somewhere.”

“Okay”, Chanakya analyzed. “If you don't know whether this is truth or not, we will do another test. The second test is for goodness. Are you going to tell me some good thing about my friend?”

“No, it’s opposite to it…..”

“Then”, Chanakya asked further. “Whatever you are going to say, is not the truth, is not positive about my friend then lets do the third test. The third test is of usefulness. Whatever you are going to tell me, is that useful to me?”

“No, it’s not like that.”

Chanakya then said the last thing.

“Whatever you are supposed to tell me, it is not true, its not positive and its not useful also, then why you want to tell me?”

What a fabulous way to stop gossip. Even though both men and women gossip, women tend to get the brunt of the blame. I think contrary to this opinion, women have no exclusive franchise on gossip! Every day men, too, live in a partially-poisoned environment. Conversation is a big part of our psychological environment. Some conversation is healthy. It encourages you. It makes you feel like you're taking a walk in the warm sunshine of a spring day. Some conversation makes you feel like a winner.

But other conversation is more like walking through a poisonous cloud. It chokes you. It makes you feel ill. It turns you into a loser. Gossip is just negative conversation about people, and the victim of thought-poison begins to think he enjoys it. He seems to get a form of poisoned joy from talking negatively about others, not knowing that to successful people he is becoming increasingly unlikable, and unreliable.

Let's make one point clear: all conversation is not gossip. You can test purpose when they are constructive. You can test your proneness to be a gossiper by taking this test :

1. Do I spread rumors about other people?

2. Do I always have good things to say about others?

3. Do I judge others only on the basis of facts?

4. Do I encourage others to bring their rumors to me?

5. Do I Predict my conversations with "Don't tell anybody"?

6. Do I keep confidential information confidential?

7. Do I feel guilty about what I say concerning other people?

The right answers are obvious. Meditate on this thought for just a moment: Taking an axe and chopping our neighbor's furniture to pieces won't make our furniture look one bit better; and using verbal axes and grenades on another person doesn't do one thing to make you a better you or me a better me ! Don't you feel, its really not benefiting anyone, and is likely causing harm somewhere along the line--a friendship will end, someone will get their feelings hurt, or it will just create drama.

I am sure you will agree with me, if we stop gossiping and tighten our lips, we will find that our life will run a lot more smoothly. The question is can we get rid of gossiping - the relationship spoiling grenade? The answer is simple- YES, provided, like Chanakya, if we can check our conversations with the three test parameters - TRUTHFULNESS, GOODNESS AND USEFULNESS!

Cheers!

Shamim

Visit - www.winnerinyou.in

Care Your People - "Achieve Amazing Results"!

Another year has passed by. While looking back, I am glad that I could deliver lot of lectures and do training for several corporates, small businesses, nonprofit institutions, social organizations, service clubs, schools & colleges.

When I reflect these experiences, one of the things that strikes me is the amount of confusion that surrounds the act of caring about others. While most people quickly admit that caring about others is a good thing to do, they fail to appreciate two very important aspects of caring : how huge the return is that comes back to us from caring and how quickly our personal and professional lives can change for the better once we start.

I believe our success depends on the support of other people. The only hurdle between us and what we want to be is the support of others. A person is not pulled up to a higher level job. Rather he or she is lifted up. We are lifted to higher levels by those who know us as likeable, personable individuals.

If caring can energize us and our work place, let me share with you some simple steps that will show us how to maximize the return that comes back to us from caring.

1) Master your Emotions : Even the best leaders have personal problems at one time or another. In those situations, the most effective leaders reach down inside themselves to find the strength to keep their emotions in check, especially at work.
2) Listen to your Inner Voice : When you share your dreams and goals with those close to you- a change of career, starting a new business, going back to school- you're very likely to hear a negative response. Don't let others rain on your parade- instead, go for it!
3) Engage with Attitude : Have you ever heard the phrase, “Attitude is everything”? Take it to heart, for there’s no such thing as an effective leader with a bad attitude. The best way to engage people is with your attitude, enthusiasm, and excitement.
4) The Power of Positive Action : Don't be nice to people just because you want something from them. Be positive just to be positive, and watch how your life changes for better.
5) Sincere Appreciation gets Results : One of the deepest needs of our human existence is the need to be appreciated. Each and every one of us absolutely loves to be appreciated for who we are and what we do.
6) Get others to go Extra Mile : To really energize those around you, you need to not only take a sincere interest in them and what they do, but also blow them away by doing something incredible and unexpected
7) Excitement is Contagious : So is passion. If you're fired up about what you do, chances are that those around you will be, too!
8) Engage People by Involving Everyone : The key is making sure that everyone has a voice in making suggestions on how things can be improved.
9) Leave a Trail of Gratitude : When people really hit one out of the part for you, or even if they do something simple but well –meaning, find a sincere way to express your appreciation.
10) Give Credit to Others : The best leaders are confident enough to give credit to others when things go right-and to take the blame when things go wrong.
11) Turn Enemies into Allies : The workplace is too small a place for you to have enemies. They can only sidetrack you from important things. If someone seems to have an axe to grind, find a way to engage that individual informally to find out the problem.
12) Celebrate your Success : When you achieve something that is important to you, make sure you don't let the moment pass without celebrating. It recharges your batteries!

Caring energizes everyone around us. When we open up and really care about people, we make them feel really good about themselves. This releases the reservoir of positive energy that resides in all of us. Let me assure you, if we can put the above universal principles into practice, our success at work will immediately begin to skyrocket and our personal life will thrive as never before.

Ready to energize every one ? Let me warn you, it may cause extreme enthusiasm and lead to real result in the workplace !!!

Shamim
Ref : "Revved" by Harry Paul & Ross Reck

The Little Squirrel from 'Ramayana' - A Dream Employee for Entrepreneurs!

A friend of mine in business recently told me," I have got several employees who have got long standing in my company but they have no ownership and accountability for what they do. How do I make them accountable & take ownership on what ever they do? "

Sounds familiar? His complaint or question is not unique rather a universal problem which every entrepreneur and manager face on a day to day basis - Lack of Ownership & Accountability among Employees!

Before we discuss more on this, let me share with you a small story from the great epic 'Ramayana' which always inspires me. The story is about a little squirrel’s contribution to the construction of the mighty bridge to Lanka. In order to reach Lanka when Hanuman’s vaanar sena was busy building the bridge, a squirrel was seen doing something funny: rolling herself in the sand and then shaking off her body to deposit sand particles amongst rocks brought by the monkeys. When asked, she said, “I am making my own small contribution to build the bridge for ending the injustice against Sita.” The monkeys roared in mocking laughter: “We have never heard anything so foolish.”

Listening to this, Lord Rama remarked, “Blessed be the little squirrel. She is doing her work to the best of her ability. Therefore, she is quite as great as the greatest of you. Never despise those that are not as strong as you. What truly matters is not the strength one has, but the love and devotion with which one works.” Then he gently stroked the squirrel on the back, and it is believed that the marks of Rama’s three fingers are still seen on the squirrel’s back.

I am sure, many of us wish to have an employee like the little squirrel. Dedicated and motivated, ready to do anything, stretch to any level to contribute the best. We know, when we motivate our workforce to create a sense of ownership and accountability for desired results, the job of getting results gets easier. But we should also understand for our people to get desired results, it is imperative that the leader attempt to create an environment in which employees have a sense of ownership in activities he or she is engaged.

The easiest answer we can say is, use motivation as a tool to create ownership and accountability. But to me, motivation is not simply a means to get people to pursue organizational goals; rather, it is a means to get people to buy in and take ownership of the organization's needs as well as their own. It drives to two areas, (1) things to increase ownership of performance and (2) things to create accountability for results.

Let's zoom into it and understand what are we supposed to do to create ownership & accountability among employees :

Things to Increase Ownership of Performance:

1) Develop a personal connection with each employee so that we know and understand that employee's strengths and weaknesses. We can encourage ownership by developing trust and maintaining a positive attitude with the employees.
2) Clarify each employee's responsibility through effective delegation so that they all know what challenges they must meet and what work they must take ownership of.
3) Ensure that people are properly trained and equipped to perform their work so they will feel prepared to succeed. Make it clear that we want all our people to be successful.
4) Make sure that employees are empowered with the authority and information they need to make decisions that affect their performance.
5) Involve employees in key practices that affect them-such as goal-setting, planning, and implementing change-so that they take ownership of decisions that affect them.
6) Always listen to employees, and when problems emerge, encourage participation, new ideas, and ownership of solutions.
7) Practice "open-book management" with employees in terms of sharing organizational goals, plans, and performance feed back. In this way, our people see the bigger picture.
8) Develop linkage between desired performance and rewards and incentives to demonstrate to people that there are good reasons to take ownership of their performance.
9) Allow people an opportunity to grow and develop new skills and talents. Dong so causes people to be more committed to both the job and the organization.
10) Celebrate success because people want to be part of a winning enterprise and because feeling successful makes it easier for people to come to work. Recognition for strong performance increases the desire for more good performance

Things to Create Accountability for Results:

1) When responsibilities and goals have been clarified, always establish standards of performance that should be challenging yet realistic enough to encourage people to hit the mark.
2) Provide balanced, ongoing performance feedback for our people so that they know and have no doubt about how well they are performing.
3) Provide ongoing coaching for our people on how to improve their performance and be very specific in doing so.
4) Use the formal appraisal process as a strategic planning activity to review performance, identify ways to improve, and recognize and reinforce desired levels of performance.
5) Deal with non performers who are damaging group performance and morale by either implementing a corrective action program or setting the stage for the person's departure from the organization. To not do so is to send all the wrong messages to non performers and performers alike.

I hope these tips will help you to create a workplace that brings out the best in your people, while at the same time increasing their ownership and creating accountability which will result in developing effective systems and processes that improve performance. All we need to do is to give a gentle stroke on the back of our employees like Lord Rama did to the little squirrel and remember his motivational words as well.

Fill your Organization with such little dedicated squirrels and sky rocket your results.

Good Luck.
Shamim

Want To Be A Chicken Or An Eagle?

I always felt our thinking plays such a huge role in how we operate on a daily basis but seldom do we realize it. There are many people who will never experience the joy of success, all because they have already decided that, success is going to be too hard for them and that it is only there for a few lucky people.

Once after my training session got over, a participant came over and said, " I will never be able to speak like you". You know, he is exactly right! He never will. Not because I am any better or smarter than he is. But because he has already made up his mind. His thinking controls his actions, which in turn will control his outcomes. His mindset has determined his end result.

To make things clear, let me share with you a simple but powerful story. Once upon a time, there was a large mountainside, where an eagle's nest rested. The eagle's nest contained four large eagle eggs. One day an earthquake rocked the mountain causing one of the eggs to roll down the mountain, to a chicken farm, located in the valley below. The chickens knew that they must protect and care for the eagle's egg, so an old hen volunteered to nurture and raise the large egg.

One day, the egg hatched and a beautiful eagle was born. Sadly, however, the eagle was raised to be a chicken. Soon, the eagle believed he was nothing more than a chicken. The eagle loved his home and family, but his spirit cried out for more. While playing a game on the farm one day, the eagle looked to the skies above and noticed a group of mighty eagles soaring in the skies. "Oh," the eagle cried, "I wish I could soar like those birds." The chickens roared with laughter, "You cannot soar with those birds. You are a chicken and chickens do not soar."

The eagle continued staring, at his real family up above, dreaming that he could be with them. Each time the eagle would let his dreams be known, he was told it couldn't be done. That is what the eagle learned to believe. The eagle, after some time, stopped dreaming and continued to live his life like a chicken. Finally, after a long life as a chicken, the eagle passed away.

The moral of the story is very simple, we become what we believe we are. For this, we need to be aware of who we are, what we are capable of doing, rather, define our identity which will keep us focused as we set our priorities, organize tasks, deal with emergencies, and accomplish challenges in our personal and business lives.

How can we make ourselves realize that, we are not just chickens but we are eagles both in our personal and professional lives? Let me share with you some simple tips :

1) Believe in ourselves : Allow only positive thoughts to dominate our thinking such as, I am worthy, I like myself, I am strong & self secure, I can handle what comes my way & I know the future holds opportunities for me.

2) Overcome fear : Fear creates stress, panic and anxiety. Fear defeats our plans and goals. Over come it by building self-confidence. Identify our fears then take action. Once we start to do something, our fears will disappear.

3) Build on failures and mistakes : Socrates once remarked that there is more risk in buying knowledge than buying food. He is correct. If we purchase spoiled meat, we throw it out, not allowing it to harm our body. But ideas imprinted on the mind are not so easily dislodged. Once we learn from our failures and mistakes, they should be discarded like spoiled food.

4) Welcome challenges : Challenges are opportunities to break out of the routine of our job and expand our skills. Challenges can be spring boards to professional growth if they are welcomed as opportunities rather than tolerated as nuisances.

5) Take pride in achievements: As we progress in life, it is important to take pride in our achievements. Though we cannot overlook the problems of tomorrow, we should not forget to celebrate the successes of today.

6) Visualize success : As clearly and vividly as we can, we should visualize the rewards of our success in our mind. Make it such a good picture that we'll do almost anything to be part of it.

7) Be flexible : Sometimes, lack of self-motivation is because of failure to adapt or change. The solution to this may be flexibility- a willingness to adapt goals so they more nearly fit our values and skills.

8) Start now : Get in motion as soon as possible, and as our momentum builds, so will our motivation.

I believe, in life, what we focus on is all that we will see and gain. If we believe we cannot, we never will. It's time to unleash the potential inside us, realize who we are, what we are capable of. We can choose to live as a chicken who will always look up and envy the mighty eagle or we can be an eagle and enjoy the thrill of soaring in the sky.

Time to decide, Chicken or Eagle - choice is all yours!

Shamim

Opportunities in Life- The Touch Stone!

I got the the seed for this article when I read a quote by Disraeli, who said, “the secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes.” But most of the time, we always wait for the right time before they begin. But the right time never comes! It's because opportunity has always been with us. But we are not ready for it. Let me share with you this small but interesting story on opportunity which I had read recently.

When the great library of Alexandria burned, the story goes, one book was saved. But it was not a valuable book; and so a poor man, who could read a little, bought it for a few coppers.

The book wasn't very interesting, but between its pages there was something very interesting indeed. It was a thin strip of vellum on which was written the secret of the "Touchstone"!

The touchstone was a small pebble that could turn any common metal into pure gold. The writing explained that it was lying among thousands and thousands of other pebbles that looked exactly like it. But the secret was this: The real stone would feel warm, while ordinary pebbles are cold.

So the man sold his few belongings, bought some simple supplies, camped on the seashore, and began testing pebbles. He knew that if he picked up ordinary pebbles and threw them down again because they were cold, he might pick up the same pebble hundreds of times. So, when he felt one that was cold, he threw it into the sea. He spent a whole day doing this but none of them was the touchstone. Yet he went on and on this way. Pick up a pebble. Cold - throw it into the sea. Pick up another. Throw it into the sea.

The days stretched into weeks and the weeks into months. One day, however, about mid afternoon, he picked up a pebble and it was warm. He threw it into the sea before he realized what he had done. He had formed such a strong habit of throwing each pebble into the sea that when the one he wanted came along, he still threw it away.

So it is with opportunity. Unless we are vigilant, it's easy to fail to recognize an opportunity when it is in hand and it's just as easy to throw it away. The problem is we never know when the door of opportunity is going to open wide. For some, the big break comes early in life and for others later on. But for all of those who become successful, there is one key similarity: They were ready. And for every one of those who were ready, there were thousands more who weren't. So, the principle for us is: Be ready!

All we need is to adore and praise the opportunities in life. These opportunities lay foundation to the success of our life and destiny. Every other day, new opportunities will keep on knocking the door and we need to use it for our personal and professional development. All of us face crisis and disappointments in life and In the midst of crisis, we often find us deprived of guidance and support. The fact is, in such adversities, one has to stay focused and extremely dedicated towards hard work, then automatically the door of opportunity swings open. These adversities maybe looked upon as a break or an opportunity, to use all these obstacles, as a stepping stone towards achievement. It all depends upon how we choose to face it.

We need to cultivate a continual sense of adventure to take advantage of opportunities. As we know, winners make the best of opportunities while victims whine on counting their numbers. Our growth and development enables us to understand the ways through opportunities and chances creep into our life and we neglect it or ignore it by considering it as a mere or ordinary situation of life. We need to identify such prospects at right time which is necessary to bring accomplishment in life, as it is not an one-time process but an ongoing practice through out our existence. Each time a new probability must be embraced with much more passion and enthusiasm.

Our focus must be to create new ways to increase independence and opportunity improvement, for further actions in life. We all are possessed with broad range of skills and abilities and a hidden inner power to excel in preferred field. All we need is to realize our potential and back it with a strong background of experience and sensitivity to the problems we face in performance. We need to understand that, the opportunities count blessings instead of tribulations; it’s a force for bringing meaningful change in healthy magnitude. If we utilize it in proper manner it acts as a reason of mental peace, tranquility and harmony in life.

Our door will open someday like it opens for everyone. It may only open once or it may open many times. It may be different for everyone and life just isn't fair that way. But the truth is everybody gets a shot. Question is will we be ready? Once that huge door of opportunity opens up, will we be able to walk boldly through it? All we need to do is, list the things that we must do to ready ourselves when opportunities come. Then prepare them. When we are ready, we can recognize and seize every opportunity, and every opportunity will seize us.

Let's do everything we can to grab it. Let's not just sit and wish and dream. Let's be proactive and make sure that we are the most qualified when the door opens and make sure that we are the hardest worker. All we need is to make sure we are the closest to the door! When it opens – Be Ready!

Ssshhh....... Do you hear that sound? Hinges creaking! It is the sound of the door opening. Our door of opportunity - The touch stone! I am ready, how about you?

Shamim

Leaders- Help Others, Help Yourself !

To be a successful leader, we need other people’s intelligence and other people’s cooperation. We need to be able to attract into our life and work the help, assistance, influence and active involvement of lots of other people in achieving our goals. Let me narrate a funny but interesting story which tells us the importance of being useful to others that makes us lovable & respectable in our organization.

Once a stranded tiger entered the washroom of a corporate office and hid itself in a dark corner. As there was always human movements outside, the tiger was afraid of coming out. Many persons frequented the washroom, but the frightened tiger did not attack any one.

But after four days it could not bear the pangs of hunger and caught the man who went in and ate him up. This man happened to be an Assistant General Manger of the organization, but nobody noticed his disappearance. Since nothing happened by way of attacking, the man-eater tiger became more daring and after two days caught another man and ate him. This man was the General Manager of the organization. Still nobody worried about his disappearance (some people were even happy that he was not in the office).

The next day, the tiger caught the Vice President who was a terror in the organization. Again, no one tried to finish off the tiger. The tiger was very happy and decided that this was the right place for it to live.

The very next day, the happy tiger caught a man who had entered the washroom with a tray of teacups. The frightened man fell unconscious. Within 15 minutes, there was a big hue and cry and everyone in the office was out in search of the missing man. The search team reached the washroom, flushed out the tiger and saved the unconscious man. He was the tea supplier to the office!

The story tells us, it is not the position but usefulness to others that makes one lovable and respectable. We need to realize the fact that, no matter how independent we are as individuals, we depend upon others to define ourselves and create purpose in our lives.

Let me share with you seven things we need to do in an organization which form the basis for effective work relationships. These are the actions we should take to create a positive work environment for people:

1) Talk about solutions- not just the problems: Most of the people spend lot of time identifying only problems. That's something any one can do. But the solutions to the problems are the challenge that will earn respect and admiration from team members and leaders.

2) Never play the blame game: We tend to alienate team members, subordinates, and people reporting to us. But, we may need to identify who was involved in a problem. We also need to understand about the work system which caused the team member to fail. Instead if we say, it’s not my fault and publicly blaming others for failures will earn enemies. These enemies will only help us to fail. All we need is allies at work.

3) Our communication matters: If we talk down to another team member, use sarcasm, or sound nasty, others hear us. Once a senior manager of an organization told me, "I know I shouldn’t scream at my team member. But, sometimes, they make me so mad. Tell me when is it appropriate for me to scream at the team members?" My answer is simple- Never! Giving respect for our people is a hallmark of our organization.

4) Don’t blind side a team member, manager, or people reporting to you: If a team member hears about a problem related to him through an email sent to his superior, we have blind sided that team member. It’s better to discuss problems with the people directly involved. We will never build effective work relationships unless our team members trust us.

5) Keep our words: In every organization, the jobs are interlinked. When we fail to meet deadlines or commitments given, we affect the work of other team members. It’s important to keep up our words, and if we can't, make sure all affected team members know what happened. Give a new due date and make every possible effort to honor the new deadline.

6) Give full credit for accomplishments, ideas, and contributions: Can we accomplish a goal or complete a task with no help from others? As a leader, how many of the great ideas we promote were contributed by our team members? Take time and energy to thank, recognize, reward the contributions of the team members who help us succeed.

7) Help other team members to find their potential: Every team members in our organization has talents, skills, and experience. If we can help them to harness their best abilities, the entire organization will grow. Let’s compliment, recognize, praise, and value contributions. By doing this, team members do find and contribute their best.

Like Brain Tracy says, we can accomplish anything we want in life by simply finding ways to help other people to accomplish their goals in life. And the more creative we are in leveraging and multiplying our talents and abilities times the talents and abilities of others, the higher we can rise and the faster we can move forward in our life.

Want to help yourself? Then be ready to help others!

Shamim

"Working Together Hand In Glove"

Working with others, whether as an individual or as a leader of an Organization, is an essential part of every individual, manager's and entrepreneur's remit. Team working is rapidly becoming the preferred practice in many organizations as traditional corporate hierarchies give way to flat, multi skilled working methods.

Whether we are Entrepreneur's, CEO's, Manager's or something else, there's a pretty good chance we'll interact with other people along the way. Unless our plan is to work in a vacuum and be unknown to anyone ever, we'll have to factor these people into our equation of success - partners, patrons, investors, bosses, colleagues, clients, customers, and / or critics. Depending on our goal, working with others may be a big factor or a little factor, but it almost certainly counts.

The famous quote by Ryunosuke Satoro, " Individually, we are one drop. Together, we are an ocean " reminds me of a good Chinese story which tells us the importance of working together.

In ancient China, during the period of the South-North Dynasty, there was a kingdom called Tuguhun, which was established by the Xianbei ethnicity at the Northwestern border region. The legend Acai was the emperor of this kingdom.

Acai had twenty sons, each one of whom was strong and skilled at fighting. Each had his unique expertise. When Acai was very ill, he called all of his sons together and asked each one of them to give him one arrow. He then said to his younger brother, Mu Liyan, "Please take one arrow here and break it." Mu Liyan easily broke the arrow. Acai then said, "Please take nineteen arrows here and break them." Mu Liyan could no longer break the bundle of arrows. Acai said, "Now do you understand? One arrow is very easily broken, while a bundle of arrows is hard to break. As long as all of you work together with one heart, our kingdom will be stable."

Acai's words, "One arrow is easily broken, while a bundle of arrows is hard to break," tells us the same thing that has been said by the ancient people, "When people's hearts are joined together as one, even a Mountain can be moved,". The story points out the importance of people working together with one heart.

In his best seller book " Success ", J.Pincott talks about how we can successfully work with others. Let me share with you these simple tips which can help us in effectively working with others :

1) Realize that we need others : No matter how independent we are as individuals, we depend on others to define ourselves and create purpose in our lives.

2) Get them to identify with us : Finding out how successful people get others to work with them or for them is always interesting. The bottom line is that we need to make an effort to identify with others and to get others to identify with us.

3) Don't worry so much about getting credit : We may need to work with others as partners or in teams, or working under another person or within a company. Our job, always, is to make that person above us look good at the same time that we get what we need from the job. Actually, the better job we do, the better it is for the person above us. Don't worry about the boss getting credit for what we do.

4) Earn the respect of others : Respect is a strong motivator for success. But it's not easy to achieve the kind of success and respect we wanted. It requires a consistency of behavior that is truly impressive. It requires that we treat others in a honest and caring way.

5) Watch our words : To successful people, working with others means knowing what to say - and what not to say.

6) Handle difficult people with care : Some jobs require better social skills than others. From those who must constantly interact with others, there's a good chance we'll encounter difficult people. Sometimes people say unkind or thoughtless things, and when they do, it is best to be a little hard of hearing - to tune out and not snap back in anger or impatience.

7) Have a healthy skepticism of authority : Like Buddha says, " Do not believe in anything simply because we have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. But after observation and analysis, when we find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it. "

8) Don't be afraid to depend on others : Don't be afraid to ask for help; our success might depend on it. There is a magic that results when a person invests in us. He becomes a big-time investor in our success, a stockholder in our dreams. Because, when we ask someone for help, we are implicitly asking him to place a bet on us. The more people we get to bet on us, the larger our network of investors and the shorter the odds.

It goes without saying, the basic principle of working together with our team should underpin how we operate. Managing people doesn't just mean acting as a watch dog but it to see that they get their work done satisfactorily. It also means involving people throughout in a creative role, to ensure that together we are all able to succeed.

When we involve people on broad issues, it will motivate them. Let's not underestimate our people and always remember, their views can enhance everything: methods, standards, processes and overall effectiveness. The managers are not paid to have all the ideas that are necessary to keep their section working well in a changing world, but they are paid to make sure that there are enough ideas to make things work and go on working. Let's use our people and make it clear to them that we want and value their contributions.

Like Henry Ford said, " Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success. What are we waiting for, " Let's come together, keep together and work together to be successful in personal and professional life.

Shamim

Decision Making - The Bridge Between Failure & Success!

Decision making is the foundation of every management and business activity. It goes with out saying better management decision making and problem solving can greatly improve an organization's profits and goals. But the studies show that Entrepreneurs and Managers do not achieve more than 50% correct results in their decision making and problem solving.

In today’s complex business scenario, decision making is one of leadership’s greatest challenge. In fact, decision-making ability differentiates between a poor and a good leader. Many bad decisions are made simply because leaders move through the decision-making process too hastily, basing conclusions on emotions, bad information or impulses.

Before we talk more about it, let me share with you a funny story on decision making which tells us how good our Managers are when it comes to decision making!

The story is about a manager of a large company who got a heart attack, and the doctor advised him to go for few weeks to a farm to relax. The guy went to a farm, and after a couple of days he was very bored, so he asked the farmer to give him some job to do.

The farmer told him to clean the shit of the cows. The farmer thought that to somebody coming from the city, working the whole life sitting in an office, it will take over a week to finish the job, but for his surprise the manager finished the job in less than one day.

The next day the farmer gave to the manager a more difficult job: to cut the heads of 500 chickens. The farmer was sure that the manager will not be able to do the job, but at the end of the day the job was done.

The next morning, as most of the jobs in the farm were done, the farmer asked the manager to divide a bag of potatoes in two boxes: one box with small potatoes, and one box with big potatoes.

At the end of the day the farmer saw that the manager was sitting in front of the potatoes bag, but the two boxes were empty. The farmer asked the manager: "How is that you made such difficult jobs during the first days, and now you cannot do this simple job?"

The manager answered: "Listen, all my life I'm cutting heads and dealing with shit, but now you ask me to make decisions!!! "

Jokes apart, this could be true with many of our Entrepreneurs & Managers - when decision making is too complex or the interests at stake are too important, quite often we do not know or are not sure what to decide. As an Entrepreneur or Manager, sometimes we know everything we can know. Sometimes we know only somethings, but not everything. And sometimes we know absolutely nothing - but we still have to decide!

A "good" decision-making starts with a purposeful, consecutive, strategic-thinking process. A correct decision makes our life better and gives us some control over life. On the other side, a bad decision may force us to make another one which could be even worse! Like the old saying, if the first button of one's coat is wrongly buttoned, all the rest will be crooked.

Good decision making invites lot of thinking and thinking is the ultimate human resource. The main difficulty of thinking is confusion. We try to do too much at once. Emotions, information, logic, hope and creativity all crowd in on us. It is like juggling with too many balls.

We may have great plans that have been studied and worked out in great details, but if we do not take decision to act on it, they can be of no use to us except to be sorry reminders of wasted time, lost opportunities and unrealized goals.

So a good decision is not an accident, it is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, intelligent direction, skillful execution and represents the wise choice of many alternatives. A significant part of decision making skills is in knowing and practicing good decision making techniques. With that note, let me share with you some simple decision making steps as under:

1) Assign priorities : All the things that need to be decided on are not equal in importance. As we do with time management where we prioritize, rank the importance of the decisions we have to make. At least by setting priorities, we'll be going in a direction. If it turns out to be the wrong direction, we can always make a course correction.

2) Set a time frame : Decision making boils down to the gut thing. And faster is better. Be 80 percent right and first rather than 100 percent correct and last. By setting a time, we have an idea on the deadline to take the decision.

3) Gather and review up-to-date, cold, hard facts : Collect as many facts as possible, but not too many. Organize them. Based on the priority, we can either wait until it's perfect and we have all information possible or we just have to go with our judgment.

4) Paint a scenario of desired outcome : What do we ideally want? If we haven't thought about it, how will we know whether we get it?

5) Weigh the pluses against the minuses in getting where we want to be : There will be trade offs and compromises. Weigh the costs and the effects.

6) Explore the ramifications for all involved : Who will be effected? Understand the impact of decisions we make on people concerned.

7) Keep emotions out of it : Don't let our emotions to effect our decisions as much as possible.

8) Use our wisdom, have courage, go with our gut instinct and decide : Procrastination in the name of reducing risk actually increases risk. If the analytical approach ends up different from our instinct, we really should stop and take the time to figure out why the difference exists. We'll probably end up going with instinct but at least we considered the analytical approach.

9) Put the decision into action : Transfer our decision into specific plan of action steps. Execute our plan.

10) Evaluate the outcome of our decision and steps of action : What lessons can be learned? This is an important step for further development of our decision making skills and judgment.

Many a times, decision making may not be as simple as we think and it can be hard when it involves some conflicts or dissatisfaction. The challenge is to pick one solution where the positive outcome can outweigh possible losses. Avoiding decisions often seems easier. But remember, making our own decisions and accepting the consequences is the only way to stay in control of our life, business and its success.

Like Jim Rohn says, " It doesn't matter which side of the fence we get off on sometimes. What matters most is getting off. We cannot make progress without making decisions ".

Ready to make a decision ? Do it – success is just across the bridge. Trust me it will be a great decision !

Shamim

Reference : How To Act Like A CEO by D.A Benton

Is " Success " Like A Trip To Mars?

Success is the topic we often talk about and something that we all aspire for. The interesting thing about success is, it has a different meaning for all. For some, the path to success is crystal clear but for many it's like a trip to mars! Even though we don't see many who are successful, the most encouraging reality about success is that it is attainable by all, irrespective of who we are, what we are or where we are! The question is what can drive us to success ? Well before i get in to that, let me share an interesting story with you on success.

The story is about a famous guru and his two disciples. Once their education was complete, and they were ready to leave, the guru called one of them and asked, " Now that your education is complete and it is time for you to leave and find your own place in the world, what plans do you have for your future? " The disciple said, " When I go into the world I will look for success and prosperity. "

With a smile, the guru gave him a bag full of gold coins, blessed him, and allowed him to leave. Now the guru called the second disciple and put the same question to him. He replied, " I will go into the world and achieve success and be prosperous. " The guru gave him one silver coin, blessed him, and let him go.

There was a pedestrian resting a few yards away. After both the disciples had left he went up to the guru and asked him why he gave a bag full of gold coins to the man who was going to look for success and prosperity for himself, while he gave only one silver coin to the man who wanted to achieve success on his own.

The guru smiled and replied, " the man who is going to look for success and prosperity is unlikely to find it as he will be dependent on external forces for his accomplishments. He will need this bag of gold; it will not last long with him. The second man, he said, " is set to achieve success on his own, he will get it. He will also be at peace with himself. He does not need gold from me; he will earn enough for himself. I gave him one silver coin which is what he need for his bus journey to his destination" .

The story tells us that, success is achieving one's chosen goals. Success requires its share of hard work, dedication and perseverance. To be successful we just have to know the rules and apply them in our life. Now let's talk about the golden rules of success which are the universal rules of attaining meaningful success. Let me share with you the following simple rules for success which is easy to understand and follow. We just have to assimilate these rules with determination and let them do wonders for us.

1) Find our passion : If our motivation is to fulfill another person's expectations of us, or simply to make money, chances are that we won't be a great success. Pick our passion- or let it pick us - but don't let others pick it for us! Let's not conflate the pursuit of success with the pursuit of wealth. Success transcends dollars and cents.

2) Set our goals : Now that we know what we want to do, it's time to set our goals. Passion alone won't guarantee success. Just don't look for consensus about how detailed our goals must be, it's all about getting started and find a medium that works for us. Remember- Goals are dreams with deadlines!

3) Cultivate character : What motivated us to choose our goal? What inspires us to succeed at it? What pushes us to keep trying? Our answers to these questions comprise our character; they define our interests, values, strengths, and means of support. The stronger our character, the more stable our success.

4) Be determined : Determination is ambition fueled by will. Do we have that to achieve our goals? If we do, we'll use everything at our disposal to succeed. Realize that if we really want to succeed at something, we'll make the time for it, take the risk for it, and do our best to ease any doubts about it.

5) Work hard : No matter how passionate we are about our work, it may test our stamina and resolve. We need to determine what sacrifices we're willing to make to be successful. Hard work requires uncommon discipline. Ask ourselves if we're willing to do it, and to what extent. But take a step back if we begin to feel that our hard work ceases to be meaningful.

6) Lead others : Success isn't always an individual achievement. In fact, it often isn't. Our success may depend upon countless others, especially the people who support us in our day-to-day work. Good leadership skills are always key to success. Knowing how to lead others and sharing our vision will help us to reach our goals. If we inspire the people working for us, they will be more inclined to be accountable for the work they do for us.

7) Take risks : No risk, no reward. It's no shock that the most successful people seem to be those who take significant risks. They jeopardize their personal comfort. They challenge the status quo. They put their money and time at stake. Taking risk is a creative act and we need to dare to approach a situation in unconventional ways.

8) Get feedback : Just when things start going well and our ego starts to swell, there's another force you'll reckon with: feedback. It comes in many forms, including criticism, advice, and hard numbers. It will ground us, keep our ego in check, and help us refine our goals and make improvements. Don't let criticism eliminate our drive. At the same time, don't let our fear of criticism prevent us from seeking feedback.

9) Survive setbacks : Midway in our pursuit to success, something may happen and we may think that we had been deluding ourselves about a happy ending. Every successful person has experienced failure. It's just part of taking risks. Surviving setbacks means stepping back to see the whole of a situation. This gives us perspective, which in turn gives us control.

10) Stay successful : Is success like a mountain; once we peak we can only go downhill? We need to make our success a series of peaks. The most important factor for this is to keep growing by acquiring new skills and dreaming up new ideas. Like Lily Tomlin said, " The road to success is always under construction. " Remember success breeds success. Use our momentum to stay always successful - with a little luck, effort, determination, support, good habits, hard work, and character.

Achieving success is our right and we can realize it with ease provided we go about it in the right way. There are no reason why we cannot conquer the heights of our aspirations. There always is, and will be, room at the top; we just have to know our ways. Let's start to realize our full potential. To be successful, we don't need a bag full of gold - all we need is a silver coin to reach our destination. Whether our destination is moon on mars nothing can stop us to be successful.

Success is our right, Work for it and Get it!

Shamim

Reference : 'Success' by J.Pincott / Rules of Success by Mridula Agarwal

Want To Be A Stupendous Speaker? Speak Like Obama!

Imagine you are scheduled to say a few words in public in the very near future. You are probably nervous. Maybe you are even panicking. Possibly you are starting to think of how to skip this speech. Relax. You are one among millions who gets butterflies in stomach when asked to say few words in public. We do admire several people who possess this wonderful skill - public speaking and one of my favorites off late is the American President Barack Obama.

With his excellent public speaking skills President Obama connects with millions of people. It may be a good idea to consider learning from him on how to influence our audiences. No doubt Obama is a master in inspiring his audience’s, which is the number one goal of any public speaker.

He captured world's attention on 10th February 2008 through his famous speech announcing his candidature for the President ship given on the steps of the Old State Capitol in Illinois. The whole world watched his historic victory speech on 4th November 2008 when he became the 44th President-Elect. Obama's speeches remind us the power of words but we know we may not be able to speak like him. Rather we may not even want to speak like Obama. But may be we can learn from the way Obama speaks in order to influence and inspire our audiences.

In an age of accelerating change and increasing uncertainty, people are looking for clear direction, and we need to provide it. Whether we are shaping a new vision, spearheading an initiative into an untried market, speaking to the media, addressing a social function or simply conducting a business meeting, effective public speaking is frequently the margin of difference between success and failure.

I have read several surveys which indicate that most people are not listening to the words being spoken at business meetings. The listeners minds are wandering because the speakers have not made their talk interesting and relevant for the audiences. No doubt there are lot of great "natural" speakers but I believe great speakers aren't always born - they can also be trained. If we work to develop our skills, we can become much better at speaking. Once we have the right perspective, know a few tricks of speaking, and have found a good line or two, things will seems a log less challenging.

Let me share with you some simple tips which can help us to be an effective speaker.

1. Define the audience : To create interest among our audience, we must give them a good reason to listen to us. Their time is valuable, and that means that from our audience's viewpoint, our speech has to answer a simple question: " What's in it for me? "

2. Develop the speech : To make a great speech, we need to start by building a great outline that includes timing along with the what's, why's, and how’s of the speech. Keep in mind the audience and objectives of the speech while preparing it.

3. Practice, practice, practice : Having a solid outline for the speech is absolutely necessary, but the next critical step is rehearsal. It helps in anticipating and avoiding troubles before they happen. We can also join Toastmasters, volunteer to speak at local events and practice at work. The more we speak, the better we will be.

4. Nervous to natural : Be ourselves. An audience will know if we are trying to be someone we are not. Relax - our best self is our real self. Our audience is almost nervous as we are. Involve them as soon as possible to calm everyone's nerves.

5. Breath : Before we open our mouth, take a deep breath and look at the audience. Connect with their eyes, take in their energy and begin.

6. The first three minutes : The first three minutes of the speech is crucial since our audience's attention is naturally high. We have only one chance to make a first impression and we need to grab the audience attention, build rapport, and ensure that they will buy-in immediately to what we are saying.

7. Keep it simple : Have few main points and use numerous real-life examples for each one. Our audiences are keen to learn something new and they are not waiting to test our knowledge.

8. Make all movements purposeful : Moving just to move or out of nervousness is annoying for the audience. There is no need to move all the time. Try standing planted from time to time.

9. Slow down : People often speak too fast when they are nervous. Slow down. Take something to the podium with us that will serve as our reminder to slow down. Obama is a master in this and remember how effective it is.

10. Bring a visual : Place something on the podium that makes us smile. It could be a picture of our family, a silly toy or a rock from the ocean. It might sound silly, but it really works!

11. Close it right : A fine closing will make our audience feel good about what they've learned. Try to inspire them to act and leave them with something by which to remember us and our key message. Make sure to end our speech with a bang!

12. Take feedback : Have someone in the business of speaking to monitor our performance as a speaker. Ask for two or three ways to improve. Then implement their suggestions.

I am sure If we follow the above simple tips we can become a more effective speaker. But the road to true success in any endeavor is the will to continually improve. The first step is a commitment to continuous improvement. Audience evaluations are also useful tool for improving our performance and gauging how effective our speech has been. But when we do this, it is important to avoid the temptation to take reviews personally and defend ourselves. Remember, we can even learn from a crank if we are willing to listen!

Obama is a master at grabbing and keeping his audience’s attention. We may not be able to talk like Obama, but we can always be ourselves and be - A stupendous speaker who can inspire any audience.

Ready for the next speech?

Shamim